Over the years we have received the most ridiculous assortment of questions, suggestions, car-dealer hate mail, and plain-old madness. We have compiled them for your entertainment, just in case you were under the delusion that our job was all sunshine and roses. All text is copied EXACTLY as received aside from censoring the profanities.
Regarding a pre-order for the Z06 'Blue Devil', as the ZR1 was codenamed:
DOUG WERE YOU DRINKING WHEN YOU PLACED THIS AD ? I HOPE SO OR DID YOUR MON USE TO BANG YOU OVER THE HEAD WITH A FRYING PAN THERE MUST BE A REASON FOR YOUR INSANITY
Name: NunYaDamn Bizness
Day Phone: (606) 666-0666
Comments: Are you guys stupid or something. Stupid is as Stupid Does....thus...you must be STUPID
Regarding a genuine Alpina B7:
Name: John Stamose
E-Mail Address: firstname.lastname@example.org
Comments: Dumbass! Don't list it as an Alpina if it's not one
An (unsolicited) email about a pristine, low mileage Porsche 993 which had never seen winter:
All that salt exposure. Too bad. Does it have rust bubbles? Seems like a lot of money for a tail spin car with an uncomfortable driving experience. No power without a turbo. Got to have a turbo to get out of its way for sure. So much cheap plastic and it smells industrial. No wonder the owner traded it back in. So many other cars for better value and driving experience. Smart people buy these cars, but don't have common sense I suppose. A Buick Lacrosse looks and handles better and it has 4-wheel disk brakes and better air conditioning for 1/5th the investment. The color is OK. Not trying to be critical. Thought maybe I would try one of these one day, but keep reminding myself of the tininess. To expensive to maintain. Oh well. Thanks but no thanks. Good luck.
Regarding a 2008 Dodge Challenger SRT8, which when brand new were selling for over MSRP:
You guys selling these cars are all crocks. What a joke, what a way to rip people royal!
An email about a (2-seater) Porsche GT3 RS:
That porsche rs gt3 has 4 seater? I just ask to you that car has 4 seats? But i really tried to found who sportcar, but porsche 911 turbo has 4 seater!! But there only 6500 rpm sucks, rs gt3 has 8400 rpm redline.....
A response to an email about the price on a new Nissan GT-R (which were also selling for over MSRP):
lol, go f*** yourself, i bought mine for msrp +1595$...................maybe your mother will pay the price you ask.
Attempting to be a "shrewd negotiator":
I assume the condition of the car is as near showroom perfect condition as you can get for this ultra low mileage Shelby? Since these "specialty" cars are tailored to a "niche" buyer, are typically slow selling, are in low demand, what's your best and lowest bottom line price you'll accept for the car? Thank you for your time.
And the anonymous hate mail....
You tricked out a classic from a mans driver to a womans touring car and you expect to be paid for the abortion , now thats classic.
GOOD LUCK SELLING THIS ONE , IT IS THE UGLIEST PORSCHE I HAVE EVER SEEN !!!!!!!!!!!!
Comments: you must be smokin weed
Comments: What idiots - you'll never sell this GT at your inflated price. Make it a boat anchor - d***head.
Name: HaHa NoOneWantsYourGT
Offer Price: $1.59
Comments: your car is worth every penny i offered you, Jason
It is crazy. The bottom has absolutely fallen out of every vehicle...even these!!! Dealers can't give them away. The party is over for you dealers. Years ago the dealer enjoyed being smarter than the public. Now the tables have turned and the game has changed...the buying public is now WAY more sophisticated than you old school dealers. GOOD LUCK with your bricks and mortar investment and upside down business model.
My name is Adam and i am located in los angeles, California. I have come to hear that you are looking for certain cars, and well i got a list of exotics but i want to know what exactly you are looking for. What colors to what year to what price. Please specify if you can. Some of these are privately owned but most of them are in my warehouse. Also don't worry about transportation i can either have my transporter bring them to you or we can race them thru the desert. Whatever you want we can make happend. Also do you know of any dealer auctions for exotic cars. I am kinda new to the west coast because orginally i am from tennessee. Well let me know something when you can. Thank you
With regards to your company am John Freeman and am sending you this mail regards to some Pool Table i want to order from you company , So i will like you to get back to me with the types of animal feeders you have and their prices also i will like to know if you do accept credit card payment. Please Advise.
This car is exactly what I am looking for to use on Prom night. Please let me know if there is anyway I could borrow it or rent it. I'd love to use this car for prom weekend.
Hay good morning this is sam p**** im a classic car buyer I got your number from r*** he told me you have a porsche I mite want to sale ?
Hi Sam all of my Porsches can be viewed on my website www.switchcars.com
Ok great give me a littel bit ill get back to u
Hi Sam you're welcome to make an offer - I'm not sure which one exactly you're talking about
This man has problems with his wife:
Hello mr Tabutt. I cannot buy your Aston Martin because I cannot transfer the money because my wife don,t let me do that [she says] If you really want an Aston Martin you sell one of the other cars . So very sorry please relist your Aston I have a lot of problems with my wife . she said why do you want another car because you already have an Acra NSX and a jaguar XKR 100
Hello Doug, I asked my wife why not. ??? Its okay with her but first I have to sel the xkr 100 ,. How long can you save the car for me maybe a few weeks and what will it cost me?
Please let me know because I really want this car.
Doug, I can not buy the car because I cannot get the money. Wife Blocked the account. And my wife if very angry because she will not sell the Jaguar. So please retract my bid and relist the DB7.
Very sorry Doug but I still love my wife more than the car.
About a Lotus Exige:
Does the steering wheel adjust, and can you put lamboghini doors on it.
THE ALL TIME BEST EVER EMAIL EXCHANGE:
Thanks for a quick response back. well this is my issue. I tried to get financing for that car but i cant because my credit sucks due to medical bills because i have a pre existing condition and with you beening a CEO of Total health for life you might know what i mean. and i tried to use one of those online loan help center but that hurt my credit even more because of how many inquaries they put on it, it dropped like 100 hundred points. So my lawyer gave me an idea. He told me to see if there was someone who had a exige that would be will to work something out with me and he would do the paperwork to make legal document for whatever they come up with. Your price is fine. So i am seeing if we could work something out like a payment plan for the car. I can easily afford around $1000 a month give or take and say we did that for 55 months or something and if i have more i can through that month i will. you would make like $55,000 on the car. If we could work something out, that would be f.... awesome. I have been trying to get one for the whole summer. I have had 2 Nissan 350z in the past which i sold and paid off and i have a current loan on a truck which is current. So i have a good track record with my car loans. So maybe or hopefully we could work something out. Please let me know what you think. Thanks again
Thanks for the email – it sounds like a good idea to me. You’re welcome to start sending me $1k/month as payments and you may take delivery of the car once it’s paid for.
Or, I have a new leasing program – 0% financing, no credit app required, zero residual, 100% due at signing.
Some guys love their money, and want us to know it:
My Sunseeker is always dust free in the summertime due to it costing 12x the 599 Mike always looks after it first. Maybe I need to get an Enzo and a Bugatti or just a vintage Ferrari like a 330 and those would become his focus.
Don't insult my intelligence pal. You have no offers. I'm just trying to advice you..thats all. You either take it or you don't. I'm retired so maybe I have too much time on my hands.. but I'm never wrong when it comes to collector cars. I have a collection of 27 cars. And just one of my cars (my 57 Gullwing) is worth more than all your cars combined. I've been around my friend.
We get offered some not-so-interesting trades:
Check out my add on Craigslist if youre interested in a trade on a profitable business let me know. Craigslist # 1110580848
Tan Republic ****@tanrepublic.com
Looking to trade my 3 acre "Florida private island" for Ferrari? Private island comes with clear title insurance and ready to build survey.
My car is original and not restored. It was recently painted and installed new interior. I made sure to keep it unmolested and original
And finally, a wanna-be lawyer:
Offer Price: $5,000.00
Comments: Should there be no offers received via ebay, than the one being presented by buyer shall be legally accepted by the seller as the Best offer price. Sell transfers the vehicle to buyer under the law of BEST OFFER voiding the Buy It Now price.